


Handsome

by Melody0136



Series: Fixation [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: -Ish, All American golden boy Daichi, Alternate Universe - College/University, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Obsessive Behaviour, Pictures, Suga and Oikawa are roommates, poor Suga suffers with uni work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:12:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melody0136/pseuds/Melody0136
Summary: Sugawara Koushi is a dishevelled university student, struggling to find the motivation to do anything, as constantly tired as he is.Sawamura Daichi, good looking and sociable, catches his eye one day.Sugawara notices how handsome he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hm.. I think I put too much effort into this, it probably won't be read very much. But the feelings were fun to write.  
> ... I think it's slightly stalkerish.  
> I mean.. I don't wanna spoil anything, but I think that's better than triggering someone's Post Traumatic Distress or something  
> :')

Sugawara Koushi was struggling.  
University life was _nowhere near_ as exciting and promising as the prospectus had made it out to be. It was stressful and draining and hectic and tedious. After four months of University, Sugawara wanted nothing more to do with it.  
But he also didn't want to touch unemployment and homelessness with a hundred metre ruler and a hazmat suit- so he persevered.

Most other normal students were probably under the same amount of stress that he was, but it didn't help that he was so disorganised and slightly lacking the motivation to walk to his following classes each day.  
Other students probably had friends and social lives to keep them going. A girlfriend, or a boyfriend, and maybe a more affectionate family to keep in touch with. Sugawara wasn't exactly unfriendly or intimidating- just a little awkward and a bit shy and reserved. He wasn't bad-looking either, he just never really cared enough to make himself look more than just "presentable".

Once upon a time, he had kouhai to guide to success on his highschool volleyball team. A few younger students to look out for and offer advice- but those days were long since gone. Those students had no real reason to remember him, or to even think of him, now that his set of third years had left. Just a simple, fleeting presence in their lives that held no real significance to the important decisions and events that they would experience to better their futures. Futures with purpose, and a dream maybe. Futures with friends and possibilities.  
Potential.

Luckily, the one person he did have with him was his childhood friend, Oikawa Tooru. Handsome, athletic, approachable and charismatic, he was everything that Sugawara wanted to be, but couldn't. He was loud and more than slightly annoying, but he had his moments, and those moments were always worth it.  
Oikawa was one of the blessings that he was eternally grateful for. (He would never _ever- cross his heart and hope to die_ \- let him know this. Ever.)

  
Sugawara just wanted time. A change. Time to relax and do something fun, maybe. His hobbies were now practically obsolete with the complete lack of time on his hands these days. Volleyball was redundant- one of his favourite pastimes that eventually just took up too much time for something he wasn't good enough for.

He couldn't lay idle on his bed to marathon missed episodes of series he watched like Tooru managed to at least twice a month with his "Iwa-chan". He couldn't afford to have a lie-in on the weekends due to the massive pile of work he had to do- even though he was so _tired_. He didn't have the money to lavish on excessive amounts of baking ingredients, nor did he have the time to spare to bake Tooru his favourite cookies to surprise him with at the end of another monotonous week of being a university student.

Life was grey.

* * *

  
 _Sawamura Daichi_.

That was the name of the _absolutely gorgeous_ guy who'd caught his eye on campus a few weeks ago. How could he not have done? With his impressive arms carrying out a stack of books he'd just checked out of the library, Sugawara could only wish that he could replace the stack of books he held. On his way out, behind the counter, on the admin computer- he was able to see his name- _Sawamura Daichi_.  
He'd seen him next jogging with a friend out in the park from the view of his window, tank top and shorts revealing taut muscles and tan skin. _So handsome_.  
He'd also spotted him once late at night, laughing with a bunch of friends at a pub. Drink in hand, face lit with mirth. _That would be nice. To spend time with people I like in that way. Lucky._  
The next time he sighted him, Daichi was sat on a bench in the shade of a tree, poring over one of the books he'd borrowed the other day.

 _Wow. Handsome, sociable with loads of friends and a seemingly studious head on his shoulders. He has everything._  
Sure- maybe, behind the scenes, that attractive face might go through a lot of pain and misery, with a tragic backstory and a melancholic existence, complete with a quickly depleting list of reasons to live- but on the surface- Sawamura Daichi lived the perfect life. One that Sugawara deeply envied.

* * *

 

"Oops- I'm so sorry- are you okay?"  
 _He's touching me._  
The little pride Sugawara had was bruising, alongside his elbow where it had knocked into the doorframe.

"I'm okay, thank you. I should have been watching where I was going- it's fine, really- I'm just a klutz."

"No really, it's my fault- hey- you're that cute guy I keep spotting on campus. You kinda usually really frazzled- no offence- is everything alright? I mean besides all of stress that comes with studying here." He chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that he'd steadied Sugawara with.

(" _Cute_ ")

"Um... Yeah, it's all good, I guess? You?" _Awkward_.

"Yeah, everything's great!" _I bet it is_. "Just returning some books I borrowed for reference a while back. All this research is such a drag."

"Yeah, it really is." _It really is_.

"Heh, well, I won't keep you," ( _Please, do_ ), "maybe I'll see you around..?"

"S-Suga. Sugawara Koushi."  
"Sawamura Daichi," ( _I know_ ), "Pleasure to bump into you."

_-Sigh-_

  
He did see him around- quite often actually- but they only ever smiled at each other from a distance, never really interacting or speaking to each other in a way that Suga ached to. Daichi either looked like he was fiercely concentrating on whatever it was in front of him- a conversation, his notes or exercise- or he was with someone Suga didn't know, knocking his already nonexistent confidence even more.  
He could only ever watch from his distant position, less than an acquaintance- just a passerby- just another face.

  
Eventually, the man became something of a distraction.

Occupied errant thoughts as his mind lost track.  
Which was often.

A tightness in his chest, wistful, longing.  
A want that quickly turned into need.  
A need for.. Daichi.

An obscure need for an obscure concept, based on superficial glances and a single insignificant incident.

The superficial concept was a need to be acknowledged, held, embraced, loved.  
Some equally obscure part of his mind supplied the irrational notion that Sawamura Daichi could serve that purpose. Could serve it very well.

Like that, Sugawara Koushi spent his breath sighing over this man, day in, day out. He was an inevitable daydream, morning and night.

They were wasted breaths. The need would never be fulfilled.

He would never have Sawamura Daichi, not in several aeons. It was a silly fixation on a stranger.

"Fixation". A distraction. Blind hope. A _crush_ even.

  
Something more.

 

Something more?

* * *

 

"Budge over, Kou-chan, you're taking up all the good lighting!" Oikawa was bored, so he had dispelled his boredom in the same manner that he did if Iwaizumi was not around and he was stuck inside with the obligation of studying or working. He was disturbing Sugawara.

Sugawara sighed.  
"Stop _sighing_ , Kou-chan- you get to spend this short, fleeting life with _me_! Your days couldn't be any better! And with all the _sighing_ you've been doing lately, I'm surprised you haven't completely _deflated_ as your _lungs_ refuse to retain any _air_." Oikawa reprimanded Sugawara's annoying habit, unnecessarily exaggerating several of the words in his sentences.

Oikawa pulled innumerable silly faces at the rear camera of Sugawara's phone till he frowned at the sudden absence of the shutter sound-effect from the device. Thinking his finger had slipped- even though that wouldn't happen if he'd just switch to using the front camera, except Oikawa insisted that selfies had to be "authentic" and you had to "work for the best angle the old-fashioned way if you had any self-respect"- he flipped the phone rather precariously and caught it again to reposition his fingers, but that wasn't the issue. Of course it wasn't- Oikawa had had way too much practice at inflating his own ego. Rather, the issue was-  
" _No storage, Kou-chan?!_ How am I supposed to gift you with the precious image of my face for you to love and cherish forever if you don't do your share of the work and free up space for me to do so?"

Sugawara looked up from the essay he'd been attempting to write for the last hour and a half and at the notification Oikawa had just shoved in his face, "Oh, yeah. I'd been meaning to get round to that. Not for the reasons you said, obviously. Put my phone down, Tooru. Get some work done. I'll delete some stuff later whe- if I have the time."  
Oikawa pouted, then disobeyed his roommate, as per usual, "That's not an issue- I'll just help you out right now! I'm nice like that, y'know?" Oikawa pulled the phone back to himself and started to scroll through Sugawara's picture gallery.

  
"No- _no_ Tooru, _stop_!"

  
Oikawa whistled low.

" _Wow_ , Kou-chan this is some seriously stalkerish action going on."  
"Oh, stop it, Tooru- gimme back my phone and _stop going through my stuff_." He reached for his phone but Oikawa held it away from him.

"Honestly though, how many pictures..?" He answered his own question, quickly selecting every single picture of this mystery guy he could find-  
" _One hundred and thirty-SIX_. In only six days! Jesus Christ, Kou-chan, no wonder your storage is suffering- and he's not even as good looking as me. Why are you wasting so much space on some plain old stranger?" That was a blatant lie- the guy was _hot_ from what he could see of the few non-blurry, focused shots of him Sugawara had caught. He was only trying to provoke the truth from his evasive Kou-chan.

"Gimme that!" He finally managed to snatch his phone back, but he would never recover his dignity. He blushed furiously and scowled down at the paper strewn on his desk.

"Well this is a rare sight! My little Kou-chan, _blushing_! Despite how shy and klutzy you always are, I usually never get to see you this cute and red!" He sighed melodramatically, "If only I could take a picture to commemorate it."  
"Shut _up_ , Tooru."

"Aw, what's wrong _Koushi-kun_?" he teased, "Has my wittle ba-by got a _crush_ on someone?"  
Sugawara didn't blush, but the frown his friend's idiocy had caused etched deeper lines around his mouth.  
Oikawa gasped exaggeratedly. "It _is_ a crush! A good looking guy- but you're such a stalker Kou-chan."

" _Shut up_ , Tooru." He said again, but it didn't stop his friend from running his mouth even more.  
"He's very handsome, Kou- is that why you're so shy? Can't work up the nerve to talk to him? Well, let Oikawa-senpai show you the way to-"

"Oikawa, _shut the hell up_. Drop it!"

Oikawa didn't need very much warning to realise that he'd actually upset his friend. Usually, Sugawara simply shrugged off all his teasing and ignored him, much to Oikawa's annoyance.  
Oikawa stared at his friend, sat hunched in his desk chair. They remained in a rare silence for seven ticks of the cheap wall clock they had bought together as a joke, knowing they'd only ever look at their phones for the time.

Oikawa opened his mouth to apologise, "I'm sor-"  
"No... No, it's fine... You're right, I'm sorry. It _is_ stalkerish. It's creepy. I'm a real creep. Just a stupid nerd with a stupid crush. And he'll never notice me unless he's trying to file a restraining order or something, and I'll just go ignored and rejected for the rest of my life, pining after this guy like a damn loser whilst-"

"-Stop it! Don't say those things, Koushi. They're not true. You-"  
"-What, _I'm not a loser_? Is that what you were going to say? Don't lie. Don't lie Oikawa, because that's the truth. I'm just a pathetic loser. You're my only friend, and I don't even know _why_." He chuckled, unamused, and the tears made their way past his false grin, falling and wetting his desk.

Oikawa tried again, "Kou-chan, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean-" Interrupted again.

"You said what you said Oikawa, and you were right. I shouldn't... I shouldn't breach his privacy like that. It's weird and- and- just _weird_ , and I'm just really weird. I'll never have him and I can't fill that hole with ~~his dick~~ these secret photography sessions. I won't do it anymore. I'll stop taking the pictures. I'll forget about him. Just... Just never mind."

Sugawara huffed and swiped the tears from his cheeks. His breathing was irregular, and he just felt emotionally drained.  
Oikawa knew better than to try to add anything else, lest his friend raise his voice and begin to sob uncontrollably. He stepped towards him and hugged his trembling shoulders. Kissed him on the forehead and whispered a tiny apology.

Sugawara appreciated the silence.

* * *

  
The pictures were swiftly deleted, only to be restored from his "recently deleted" album as he couldn't bear to let go of them.

He caught glimpses of the man every so often. His eyes followed till they could no longer sight him, and his legs were forced not to discreetly follow after him.  
 _Him_. Sugawara didn't allow himself to even think of his name anymore.

Not his eyes, deep brown like the trunk of a strong, shaded oak tree.  
Nor his smile, which penetrated his heart and claimed its undeniable place there.  
Not even his laugh, a sound that made his body thrum with elation and infatuation.

 

He was always on his mind, and the pictures did not stop.

The fear that raced through him when he thought he might get caught shook him to the core, but also served to fuel his determination to satisfy his addiction.  
The happiness he felt when he managed to capture the pure aesthetic of his profile with a pretty backdrop encouraged his impulsive actions.

  
Each day, he admired him from afar.  
With each picture, his obsession grew, and his storage suffered.

 

 

Sugawara believed that he would have him. Pieces of him, at the very least, in his own one-sided, private, thrilling little way.  
He would be his.

*

Sugawara acknowledged that one day, the pictures would become inadequate. That he would crave this man in other ways and his desire would grow.

His fixation would need to be satisfied...

But Sugawara decided, that for now...

For now.  
It would suffice.

**Author's Note:**

> *Attempts to be slightly misleading about direction of relationship.*  
> *faisl*  
> **Fails.


End file.
